artificial is the word, alright

Saw AI tonight, and boy is that movie a torturous one. Good lord did I want it to be over for the last 2 hours and 15 minutes (it was just under 2.5 hours). Ouch. If any of you are thinking of seeing it, don't! I'll save you from the horrible fate that would be the couple of hours you'd need to sit through this monstrosity, and tell you what happens. The world is partially submerged, from global warming or something. Some company makes a robot kid with the capability to love and bond with a human. The kid is this robot. He's "imprinted" on a woman who's real child is in a coma. He loves her more than anything, and she's kinda ambivalent about him. Alas, the real son wakes up and sibling rivalry and random accidents make the family decide to get rid of the robot kid. Mom doesn't want him to be turned into a scrapheap, so instead of returning him to the manufacturer, she, inexplicably, leaves him in a forest to fend for himself (along with a random robot teddy bear). The kid goes on an adventure, running from the evil fleshy humans who apparently want to dismantle all robots. The kid decides to find the blue fairy, whom he's heard about in a Pinocchio story, so she can turn him into a real boy and he can go home. After a ton of incredibly dull and pointless weirdness, he tries to kill himself by falling into the ocean, and just happens to fall right in front of, you guessed it, the blue fairy, which is a left over from some amusement park in downtown Manhattan. Having reached his goal, he gets stuck in a logic loop, pleading to the fairy to make him a real boy. The camera pans back, the narrator comes on, and you think that finally, the movie is over. But no. After two thousand fucking years go by, and the planet is in an ice age, the aliens from Close Encounters show up and revive the poor kid. Aiiiiigh! The movie continues for another 20 minutes with some rediculousness inspired by the end of 2001 a Space Oddessy. The aliens clone mom through the hair that the kid cut off of her 2000 years previous (and that teddy bot had been carrying around the whole time). The kid and mom are put into a holodecklike place so they think they are back home. The catch is that mom can only live one day, due to some innane plot device. So, the kid lives happily ever after for one day, then goes to sleep, satisfied of a job well done. Aiiiiiiiiighhhh!

Didn't they make torture illegal in the states? Spielberg must have made it onto the list of countries in the infamous "axis of evil". Is King George on this? The world needs to be rid of this movie more than we need to snuff out a couple of mostly harmless countries.

here's the plan

So, I found out that I can get unemployent, thanks to a great ex-employer, so I'm planning on getting seriously into a few projects that may or may not lead to making money, but will definitely be worthwile. Firstly, I've got to set up a Random Turtle Productions website. Then I may set up a bit of a diy business as an outlet for my many crafty and otherwise projects. And I'll probably try to set up a bit of a freelance graphic design thing, too. With the luxury (a bit of an overstatement) of the unemployment money coming in, I'll have time to get this stuff done without having to worry about paying the rent. Sound good?

Maybe this is all a bit grandiose, but it could happen.

chair

I must be doing something right, because last night at the Bike Committee meeting I was elected Vice Chairperson. I had no clue that I was even a contender. Funny. I feel so important, now.

The pace of life without a job is just right for me. I'm not the most energetic person, so I'm always disappointed with the amount of stuff I can get done in a day. But this way, I know that I've got plenty of time to do the things that are really important to me, and still have time left over to make my own meals from scratch, play a bit of the Star Wars Racing game, and sew too. And my cat just loves having me home all the time. Plus, any day now it will be gardening season!

Hmmmm, I think I have to go out today. I need popcorn and soy milk.

zines a go go

Whew, its finally over. The zine fair was a rousing success. Thanks Rich! The place was absolutely packed on Saturday, and it was in a huge room, compared to the tiny hallways we were stuck in last year. And on Sunday, after the morning grogginess wore off, it filled up quite nicely. Plus, there was a really great range of zine peddlers there. Sometimes the seventeen year olds are a bit overwhelming, but this year there was a good contingent of the mature types, like myself. My "Bike City" zine was a hit, as far as I was concerned. Its a pretty niche market zine, so I was delighted to have sold/traded around 70 of them. That's the biggest run of zines I've ever had. And I only just finished the things on Friday. (Hence the lack of posts last week.) At some point I'd like to set up my Random Turtle Productions website and put the zine online, along with a ton of other stuff, of course. That's probably one of my next projects.

The free seedlings/plants were also quite popular. I ran out of my regular basil and nasturtium offerings the first day, and ended up potting up a bunch of my aloe plant's babies to give out on Sunday. I think next year I'll make a little plant care booklet to hand out with the plants, since a surprising amount of people seemed to have no clue as to what to do with the things.

And, the piece de resistance, on my table at least, was the zine bags. I sold out of them! At five bucks, my funky recycled/reclaimed fabric bags were simply irristable. I even got an offer for distribution. But I'm not a big fan of the middleman concept, even when it's a woman. Although, I am going to drop off a few zines and stickers at Flyrabbit (in Allston, MA), where my buddy Jef works. But that's really just because I want more people to have the opportunity to see my message, not to make money.

All in all I came out of the zine fair with a net profit of about 15 bucks, a huge pile of good looking zines that will take me a month to read, a few new friends, and I even raised some money for the Somerville Friends of the Community Path group that I volunteer with. Yay!

fuzzy purple yarn

I never intended to do it, but I managed to succumb to the whole knitting frenzy that's been going on in the hip urban chic crowd (which I'm not really a part of, but am in the target market for the products for). I paid a bunch of money to buy fuzzy purple yarn and then spent 36 hours straight (except for the sleeping thing) knitting a scarf that I really didn't need. Well, at least I got it out of my system. Now back to the zine. Four days left before the zine fair. But I'm three-quarters done. So I'm good.

I talked to my bud at MassBike about working there, and it looks like its a go. Sometime soon, I guess. Its only part time, so that makes things a bit messy in the whole income aspect of my life, but I know that it'll all work itself out.

News Flash: a 500 million billion ton chunck of ice the size of Rhode Island broke into peices due to elevated temperatures in the antarctic region. New England has officially experienced the warmest winter in recorded history. And just last week your Senators and mine (well not mine actually) voted against a bill that would have raised the rediculously low fuel efficiency standards to a level that has been obtainable for 30 years. The future of this planet is looking dark indeed.

Oh, and yes, a million billion is a real number, if you live in England, where they like their numbers on the funny side.

would you like to see my shrinky dink?

I gotta say S.C.U.L. continues to amaze me. They really are such a great group of people. I went to a party there last night and had a blast. Even the annoying guy (that seems to be a prerequisite for a really happening party) was funny. (He was nicknamed the Cracker Boy after an incident where he played out an orgasm using a package of crackers as a substitute dick.) I brought along a roommate and he seemed to have a lot of fun, too. The key to the party's success was, in my opinion, the crafts. Shrinky Dinks to be specific. Shrinky Dinks are not just for kids! Actually, if you get someone who knows what they are doing these things can look pretty amazing. For a bunch of geeky bikers, there is really a lot of artistic talent in S.C.U.L.

(Punk craft project warning...) One of Skunk's ideas was to make bike badge plates (you know, the plate on the front tube of the bike that has the manufacturer's logo on it?). When the Shrinky Dinks came out of the oven he molded them on a peice of steel tubing to get them the right shape for the bike. Add a little of that doublestick foam tape and voila! You've got a personalized bike instead of some crappy Huffy or Cannondale :)

I met a couple of cool people who I now can hang out with when the missions start up again, which will help me force myself to stay up until the wee hours of Saturday nights and Sunday mornings, when the preference to be fast asleep would normally overcome me. And I got to see Shakes, who got me into the gang, but hasn't been around since I started riding with them. Now I'm all inspired to chop out my pink War on Terrorism kid's bike, so that I can christen it into the S.C.U.L fleet. Welding torch here I come...

Oh yeah, yesterday, I actually started on my zine. Go me.

chainring

The activities of the past few days have included: sewing Random Turtle Production bags (like bookbags, only much cooler), making the best damn chocolate chip cookies ever (and they are vegan, to boot!), taking apart and rearranging various bikes found in the trash (in order to try and make a really weird bike a la S.C.U.L.), and entirely avoiding doing anything for my zine (which needs to be done and printed in just over a week). The bike disassembly was, ostensibly, an attempt to work on the zine, but it didn't really get me any closer to making the acutal zine, just got me more in the bike mood.

Oh, and there was a mountain of sushi. The upstairs neighbors (one of whom seems to be doing the nasty with one of my roommies) invited our household up to help them wage a nutritious and quite delicious war on the sushi mountain. That was fun.

And, just this afternoon, I got my very first video game. One of my roommates has an N64 and I got the Episode I Podracer game for it. I like it. Racing games are definitely my style. This one is pretty good, though there're at least a few bits that are really poorly designed. I've hit a jump that I simply can't seem to make, no matter how many buttons I push or when I push them. I'll have to let one of the guys play the game and figure it out for me (they have that video game kinda logic ingrained into their brains from playing so much).

Finally, I managed to miss Rich Mackin's birthday party and performance last weekend. I suck. Sorry Rich!

Sometimes I just can't psych myself up for the party atmosphere. So much pressure to act like I'm enjoying myself! Occasionally, I do have fun, but most of the time I'm just trying to act like I belong and hoping that no one notices that I'm a 32 year old hobbitlike freak. Not that there is anything wrong with that. :)

cultural icon

If PEZ are a good indication of pop culture, then Batman is the most popular, multiple personality icon. There are more different Batman PEZ versions than there are of any other character (at least in my collection of 60 or so). I can understand his popularity. The guy is a superhero, yet he's just a regular (besides being extremely rich) guy with no actual superpowers. And he's a basket case when it comes to relationships, just like the rest of us are.

7

My mom was running for treasurer of her little town in Maine, for some weird reason, and last night she heard the results of the vote. She lost: 127 to 120. She's pretty sad, even though I think she would have hated the job. Small town politics are pretty funny, though. Her opponent made a speech in which she basically just let everyone know how well her kid was doing in school and how much her husband enjoyed his job. Sure, I know that around half of the voting public votes without even the slightest consideration for the issues or the qualifications for the position, but jeez, that's just scary. (Though after the King George fiasco, I'm never going to truly be shocked again by how insane an election turns out.)

I got taken out for dinner and drinks last night be my former coworkers. It was fun, and I got a really, really heavy book from my best coworker-bud Lepera. It has lots of pictures in it, so I'm all set! And, while I was at the restaraunt, I had one of those weird convergency experiences where several random people I know showed up in the same place. A few SCUL people sat down right behind me, and then when I was leaving, the infamous Rich Mackin was riding by with his gigantic pirate flag flying behind his bike. He reminded me that his big birthday bash and performance event was today. Yay!

Speaking of Rich, and the zine festival, I think I figured out why I've been procrastinating from working on my latest zine (something which I normally would be overjoyed to do). Now that I'm not at work anymore, I don't have a printer, and I'm subconsciously weirded out by that. I haven't been without access to a professional quality printer in a very long time, and I'm kinda panicking. A Random Turtle without a printer is like a fish without fins (she can live, but she can only flop around in an ungraceful manner, completely unfishlike). So, I'm thinking of trying to make myself do it the old school way, cut and paste. This could be interesting...

inertia

Wow, I have managed to do nearly nothing this week. Well, ok, I did spend almost all of yesterday cleaning and reorganizing the living room. It's pretty impressive now. I really would make a great interior decorator (as long as my clients didn't mind weird, colorful rooms filled with wacky items found in the trash). I've also applied to a few jobs, but in this age of electronic mail, it takes all of 10 minutes to send a resume and cover letter out to a bunch of potential employers. (Though I learned to always triple check my e-mails after I accidentally forgot to change the job title from one e-mail to the next. Woops.)

My catnip seedlings are woefully lacking in the growth department. The basil is fine, though. My biggest problem, in preparing the free seedlings that I give out each year at the zine fest, is that I can't find the plastic cups that I use to package the plants. This is bad. If I can't find them, I'll have to redesign the whole package. Why do companies have to change their products so damn often? If I do end up finding the cups I need, I should buy a few years worth...

the trial

My roommates all got stoned and are now watching an old black and white version of Kafka's "The Trial". I love my roommates.

bulk goods

I spent my first full day of unemployment shopping. Well, ok, I also did some bike committee stuff, and went to the science museum, too, but the shopping was the most interesting bit of the day. I found the biggest treasure I've ever encountered in my decade of thrift shopping. This even tops the unopened Space 1999 spaceship model that I got for a buck and sold for $75. Today, I found a handwoven sweater, from a great company in Maine, that I know costs around $90, and I only paid a little over a dollar for it. It's exactly my size and favorite color (it matches my maroon hair quite well), and it had never been worn, either (the tag was still on it). I know sweaters don't get most people all excited, but you don't know how much I just adore these things. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (in more ways than one!).

After the sweater jackpot, I visited the science museum (which was free, since I'm a member). They had an exibit that included an actual spaceship - the Liberty Bell 7 - which had been lost on the ocean floor for nearly 30 years. Damn, that thing was tiny. I can't imagine anyone having to squeeze themselves into that little space and stay there for more than a few minutes. And the technology seemed so rudimentary (this was 1961 after all). The controls looked like something I had as a play spaceship as a kid. (My dad had salvaged some electronics boards from an old high school science lab and mounted them in a 6 ft. by 6 ft. climbing structure. Way cool for a little sci-fi geek like me.) In the exhibit, along with the ship itself, there were many of the items that the astronaut had taken with him. Some of the stuff was very obvious and basic: a knife, medicine, and bandages. But some of the stuff was just plain weird, if you know anything about living off of the planet: a bar of Dial soap, for instance. (How dirty are you gonna get in a tiny and sealed environment, do you really want to use free-flowing water in a place like that, and what the heck are you going to do with all of the soapy/dirty liquid when you're done washing, anyway?)

On my way home from the museum, I stopped into the food coop and got 20 lbs. of bulk food, with the intent of making all of my own meals for the duration of my unemployment. Fried tofu and rice (with a little soy sauce and nutritional yeast) is surprisingly satisfying. As is homemade Indian food. I'm going to be so damn healthy by the time I find another job.

I found out that my friend Rich Mackin was also laid off on Wednesday, and my old boss quit her job on Thursday. I think it's a fortuitous conspiracy (planned by some unseen force). All of these MassArt people suddenly left with a ton of free time on their hands. Who knows what we're likely to do...